With Valentine’s Day upon us, hearts are at jeopardy of becoming jaded and losing sight of this true beauty called singleness. As if you just didn’t spend yet another Thanksgiving and Christmas with your parents wondering when you’re going to get married and give them grandkids, here comes Valentine’s Day!
But from one single woman to another, I really want to encourage you to hold on to the true beauty of singleness.
I’m 26 (almost 27). A young woman in the Lord, just like many of you. And I understand the desire to want to be married and have a family. But I also understand the importance of waiting on the Lord to meet that desire. And the beauty and the freedom we have in our singleness with Christ. I didn’t always understand that, I spent countless years dealing with randoms (guys you know you will never marry and use to fill the void in your heart) and being stung with heartache, disappointment, and broken promises.
It wasn’t until this past summer that I really began to enjoy the beauty and freedom we have in singleness. I wanted to attend the Legacy Conference in Chicago the year before, but was working for a ministry here in Houston that summer and could not attend. But this past summer, I was a high school teacher with the entire summer off. So about a week before the Legacy Conference, I booked my flight to Chicago to attend the conference by myself!
And as a single woman, I was free to do that! I had no one to discuss the trip with except the Lord. I didn’t have to discuss finances with a spouse or figure out who would watch the kids. I was just able to pray and ask the Lord – is this where You want me to go? And when He said yes, I went!
While there, I was able to have undivided devotion to the Lord. Able to read my Word, worship, pray, and write to the Lord anytime and anywhere – whether at the conference, in my room, or at Oak Street Beach. I was able to give my Lord His much deserved, undivided devotion.
This is the freedom we have in singleness. But what is freedom if we treat it like a prison?
In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says:
“I would like you to be free from concern… An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and Spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”
As a single woman, I am both free and able to give the Lord undivided devotion. That is the beauty of singleness!
How then should we use this beauty called singleness? Rather than daydreaming about the perfect man, creating pinterest boards of our future weddings, or constantly struggling with another random guy, let’s devote ourselves to the Lord. Let’s ask the Lord what He wants us to with this beauty called singleness.
Let’s ask things like:
- God, where do you want me to go? Do I stay where I am, Lord? Or do I move cities, switch careers, or do mission overseas for 3 months?
- Lord, with all the free time I have, who and where do I serve? Is there an elderly woman I can run errands for or visit? Or a married couple who would use a babysitter and a date night? Or a group of teens I can mentor and disciple?
- God, what things do I need to deal with in my heart? Do I still struggle to forgive, a lack of faith, or doubt? Do I lack accountability? In what ways do I offend You? I have an unlimited amount of time to deal with my problems, can you help me?
Rather than wait for the day our status changes from single to married, let’s use this freedom in undivided devotion to the Lord. Using our time to pray, read the Word, worship Him, seek Him, and ask the tough question:
God, with this beauty called singleness, what do you want me to do with it?
Alisha Blue lives in Houston, TX where she is a high school teacher. When she is not teaching, she enjoys her time with family and friends, mentoring young girls, reading, writing, traveling, and serving backstage at Christian events.