Family Prayer: Moving from Discouragement to Dependence

DISCOURAGEMENT OR DEPENDENCE? 

The needs of our families are overwhelming. We can lay awake at night overcome with thoughts of physical needs, financial needs, emotional needs, mental needs, spiritual needs, educational needs, occupational needs, and more. Often, these thoughts can lead to discouragement, but what if we allowed the innumerable needs of our homes to lead us to dependence? What if we were quick to recognize our inability to meet all of these needs and immediately turned to the Lord in prayer? 

A HOUSE OF PRAYER 

With so many needs filling our homes, filling our days, we should strive to become families of prayer. Just as Jesus had a zeal that his house would be a house of prayer (Matthew 21:13), let us pursue, with great zeal, a house of prayer for our families today. A house where we draw near to God. A house where we pray the Lord’s will for our families. A house where we bring our sin and hurt to the one who can forgive and heal.   

FAMILY NEEDS NECESSITATE FAMILY PRAYER 

Every family has shared needs. Therefore, families must come together to pray for their needs and they must again come to together to pray prayers of praise and thanksgiving for the blessings the Lord has provided. 

Puritan pastor, Richard Baxter contended that it is God’s will for families to seek blessings together in prayer and to give thanks together once they have received such blessings. These community needs shared by all in the home include things such as the well-being of the household, the preservation and direction of the family, and the provision of the family.[1]  

Matthew Henry seemed to agree as he wrote, “Daily bread is received by families together, and we are taught not only to pray for it every day, but to pray together for it.”[2]

Another Puritan pastor, Thomas Doolittle, offered seven reasons families should pray, as he focused on the needs within the home. Like Baxter, he assumed that as families share needs, they share prayers for provision for those needs. To neglect such prayers would communicate that the family is living on their own strength without recognizing their dependence upon God. Knowledge of family needs and of family dependence upon the Lord for those needs should lead the family to their knees in prayer together.[3]

When dependence replaces discouragement and as we cultivate a house of prayer, we see our shared needs in the home lead to shared prayers with our family. 

MOVING PRAYERS FROM MUNDANE TO PURPOSEFUL

As we seek ways to bring prayer into our homes, we often find that some of our prayers can become mundane and monotonous. We slip into these routines of saying the same memorized prayers over and over again with very little thought about what we are actually saying. 

One way that we can grow in our prayer lives and see our family prayers become more purposeful is to intentionally and biblically address the Lord as we pray. 

Instead of beginning every prayer the same way, what if we included names of the Lord that we see in Scripture? For example, the book of 1 Peter offers many beautiful and powerful descriptions of the Lord that we can use in our family prayers. In 1 Peter, the Lord is referred to as:

·      “The Shepherd and Overseer of our Souls” (2:25)

·      “The Faithful Creator” (4:19)

·      "The Chief Shepherd” (5:4)

·      “The God of All Grace” (5:10)

Can you imagine the difference it would make in your family prayers if you began by praying, “Lord, you are the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls”? What if you taught your children to pray: “God of all Grace, we praise you…” or “Lord, you are the Faithful Creator…”

These terms immediately bring praises to mind. They remind us of the character and power of the One to whom we pray. They remind us of the blessings we have through the Gracious Shepherd. And they help our family prayers move from mundane to purposeful. 

The needs of our families are overwhelming, and therefore, the prayers of our families should be steadfast, purposeful, thoughtful, consistent, prayed in dependence, and prayed together. 

[1] Richard Baxter, The Godly Home, 79.

[2] Matthew Henry, A Church in the House, 49. 

[3] Thomas Doolittle, “Seven Reasons Families Should Pray,” in A Theology of the Family: Five Centuries of Biblical Wisdom for Family Life, edited by Jeff Pollard and Scott T. Brown (Wake Forest, NC: NCFIC, 2016), 76-77. 

Dr. Jonathan Williams, Ph.D. (Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary) is the founder and executive director of Gospel Family Ministries. This ministry focuses on strengthening family ministry in the local church and cultivating family worship in the Christian home. Jonathan is the author of “A Practical Theology of Family Worship” and “Gospel Family.” He also teaches as an adjunct professor at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX. Previously, Jonathan served for 10 years as the senior pastor of Wilcrest Baptist Church, a multi-ethnic church of more than 50 nations. He lives and writes in Texas with his wife and three children.